Wow. If there were one phrase regarding love and marriage that I hate more than any other (and I understand that A LOT of people disagree) is "I have to follow my heart". If anyone had any doubt as to why the divorce rate (and as a result the crime rate, high school drop out rate, and really just the overall moral decline) of this country is so high- this is it. Because people have to "follow their hearts".
*warning* *warning* I am stepping up on my soap box. *warning* *warning*
I think I have said this before, but I feel very strongly about marriages and the need for them to succeed. I believe this is a part of the Lord's heart that He has placed in my heart. It breaks my heart to see marriages fail, not just for the husband and wife, but mostly for the kids. The most heartbreaking part of all of this is how far these people are from knowing and understanding what love really is. "Greater love has no man than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." It is THIS kind of love that calls us to more than just "following our hearts". Why is this, you ask? Well, how many times have any of us offered ourselves as a sacrifice for someone else? Or even sacrificed something that we wanted for the betterment of someone else? Now think about how many people you have said you loved. Which one out weighs which? It is this word, love, that seems to have all of us confused. "Love never fails." So why do so many marriages and relationships find themselves in the distant past after two people have seemingly selflessly declared their love for each other? One of two things is happening here. Either love does fail, and Scripture is wrong, or people don't really know what love is. Maybe I'm an idealist, but I do belive that "Love never fails". And by never, I think God really meant never. I believe that the ultimate heartache that is experienced by so many people is not that they "gave their heart away" or chose to "follow their heart" instead of "leading their heart". The true heartache is that they never really knew what the word love meant. Each of them had different interpretations and meanings of the word love instead of knowing and understanding THE definition. This is where couples fall apart. How can you base any relationship on something that two different people have two different understandings of? The thing with "following your heart" is that your heart has no direction. It only feels. And while I do believe the Lord gave us feelings for a reason, I don't necessarily think that our feelings should be the primary compass of our lives. Think about it. It's like being on a roller coaster. (Maybe that's why they say, 'I'm on an emotional roller coaster!') What happens when you're at the top of that hill, juuuust about to teeter over the other edge and give your body over to the effects of gravity- and all of a sudden, you don't feel like going down that hill? You probably should have thought of that before they strapped you in and checked to make sure there was no way you were getting out of that seat without their help. That's what happens in these relationships. People get to the top of the hill, look down, and think, "Nope! Not today. I'm not going down this hill. I think I'll just get out." And then they do, and they wonder why it's so hard to get out of a moving roller coaster without getting hurt, or hurting the other passengers. It is my prayer, and my plea to anyone who reads this that is not married yet (or if you are married), that you would know THE definition of love. Not just a definition that sounds good on camera without being cliche. His name is Jesus.
"Greater love has no man than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13
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